Random fact about me: last year out of all my classes (AP or not) I struggled the most in Art. I love drawing. But for some reason I had a horrible time with that class. It's over now (praise the Lord!) but I've noticed a change ever since. I can't draw. Not that I can't draw good (that's nothing new, lol), I can't draw period. In fact, the class may have actually helped my sketching, but the pressure to get it right is too high now. Since that class ended last school year I've drawn one thing: it was a wolf that looks kinda like a porky-pine (in my defense it was in charcoal, I'm not so good with that yet). It is stylistically inaccurate and not creative at all because I drew it out of a book (not trace, but I had a reference). I have nothing against reference pictures but that's just not me. Yeah, my drawing may suck every time, but that doesn't usually matter because they get the point across. I want to see my latest character. I want to see my mythical creatures. I have had a revised idea of an old creature of mine called Shadow Wolves (AKA Shadolfs, or more recently 'the Hounds of Molech' ) . I desperately need to draw this creature because the image isn't right yet. As a result the image in my stories isn't as in depth as I want it to be. That's just not acceptable.
*sigh*
Anyway, I figured if I wrote this problem down in some official manner I might force myself to think up a solution, even if that is starting over with my sketches and just go all out doodling until I can regain confidence in those cursed pencils of mine.


Aside from that little gloomy struggle, life is going great! No particular reason that I can think of but nothing terribly horrid is happening. My migraines still plague my afternoons with a vortex of hours spent in solitude and darkness, but you know what? I'm starting to see even that as a blessing. After it is over, I can't help but to sing. It's kind of like a twist on the phrase "It's always darkest before the dawn", to become something like "It is always brightest after the storm!" You don't really appreciate being able to think until you lay in bed hours at a time trying to get the damn drill out of your head. Praise God! I think these simple struggles are nothing more or less then a reminder of how lucky I really am. (Wow, am I sounding egotistical yet? Or just plain nutty?)
Still don't believe me? I get stressed really easily. Never knew why. If I wasn't forced once a week or so to lay down and relax (and not move until I am completely and fully relaxed... I'll spare you the details of the joys of puking....), I might just go through life uptight and grumpy all the time, you know? Praise God for migraines!

Oh yeah, I'm learning how to use commas! Woot! I love grammar!

Upload update:
Lol, lost the rest of the puppetmaster story, oops. It's been done, just gotta find the darn thing again.
Edit: Found it! Posted it. Go me.

EDIT: Woot!!!! I drew something. Now I'm really awesome. Even though it sucks in almost all meanings of the word (sept that it is a wolf, a kickass wolf at that!). My mom actually asked me if it was puking out the stars or something... (it is supposed to be howling) she actually asked if I got my inspiration from my bulimic husky. >.<
Still, I will not be deterred from my triumph! I have reached the highest of heights, the greatest of greats, the awesomest of awesomes! Go me.

Anyway I'm proud of myself because I did exactly what I wasn't planning on doing but the result was exactly what I want out of drawing. Now I know what to do for my next chapter of "Of the Ashes" because I know the story behind the wolf constellation who cried peace among the heavens (yes, all of this because I drew it). And I'm considering calling it "Selah" cuz it's cute. Then maybe I'd have a good excuse for Selah Ashenwood's name. Or maybe I just like that word way too much. And it rhymes with my real name. Mwhahahaha.